Why we adopt

I was about to make dinner tonight and I had the thought...  I should post why we adopt. When I was little,  I would see pregnant women thought someday I'm going to have a belly like that, but then a feeling would come and I would think about adoption. When Dan and I had first met, I told him I would adopt some children, I asked if he was okay with that, he said yes. This was  days after we met. I had never mentioned that to anyone else I had dated. It never came to mind to tell anyone else.

About a year later, I had a surgery for endometriosis, I was 22. Dan was there at the hospital and so was my mom. The doctor came in and apparently told Dan that I have good hips for carrying children. The next month Dan and I became engaged. We went to the same doctor to talk about the surgery and our future together. He told us since I just had surgery it would be a good time for us to try to get pregnant once we became married in a few months. It was a little shocking, not a big shock just we were worried by it.  We went out to eat after our appointment. We felt a little doomed. Dan and I have this funny thing we will go to call each other at the same time or we will both feel the same thing (not always but when it really matters). Neither of us felt like she should try for kids as newlyweds. It’s not that we had a big list of things we wanted to do before we had kids, it’s just that it didn’t feel like the right timing.

Three years later, we thought we would try to start our family, it just felt right. I felt worried, I felt excited. Long story short, it didn’t work.  That is in April. Wee began to get a few things in line to be prepared, like our finances and a few other things. No big deal, many people try for a few months and get pregnant, many after three months. After those three months a pit began to brew in my stomach. I do not know how to explain it. I know it had only been three months but a feeling came over me. A realization came over me that something else was planned for us. I went down town to walk the Gateway. ALL I SAW were shops for pregnant women, babies and even harder it seemed as though every women that was there had a cute little belly on them, they could shop at those shops with excitement. I went back to our hotel, and prayed for hours. I felt sick, I thought my heart was going to pop, I couldn’t breathe. I felt nauseated, when you just feel helpless. All of the sudden I felt like I was the only one that existed, and alone. I was supposed to meet my friend to go out to eat, oh I wanted to cancel but I didn’t feel right about telling her not to come. Just as she was headed to pick me up I had a thought, “ don’t worry about all those women who are pregnant” and I had a feeling that everything would be okay. I did not know how, but when my friend and I went out, it was as if I couldn’t feel anything when I saw someone who was expecting a child within.  I felt no sorrow, no ache and I felt lighter. I wondered where our child was and when we would have one but the ache for that moment was gone. A month later, I felt that we should adopt. Dan and I had a long talk.  Needless to say the pieces of the puzzle came together. In April of 2007 we brought home our baby boy one year after we first decided it was time to start our family.