I want to explain what it is like in my role as a father. I am lucky in that with my job I can work from home time to time, and today was one of those days. We had a large snowstorm and I didn't want to drive on the freeways, so I worked from my home office. The best part about working from home is that I get to hear all of the sounds of Dawson and Emily going about their day. In fact they strategically placed themselves right outside my office (with my door open) and started playing superhero's!. Emily would exclaim "I am going to get you Batman", and Dawson would yell "No way", and then you would hear them tussle and giggle as they wrestled on the floor together.
I smiled the whole time while I was working and then Dawson yelled, Daddy come play with us. So I got up and pretended to close and lock my door (like I needed to concentrate on my work ;). Then when I heard both Dawson and Emily sigh because I wasn't going to join them, I burst out of the door and using my best Superhero voice and chased a squealing Dawson into his room, where I captured him to his utter delight.
It was a fun moment, one that was put together at the spur of the moment. The thing is, within a few weeks I won't remember anything special in particular about my work day, but I will remember that small moment that our family had sandwiched in between work and responsibility.
Being a father has been an absolute joy for me. I sometimes wish I had a pause button right now, where I could keep Dawson at this age, but then I realize that if I did then I wouldn't experience little league baseball, his baptism, his high school years, mission/marriage and so on.
I am SO grateful that Emily and I will be able to experience the joy of parenthood with another child. I used to wonder how God could love all of his children equally. Sure enough he had to of had favorties, or those who he loved more than others. And when Dawson was first born, I even thought that myself... How could I ever love another Child as much as him?
But then a crazy thing happened. My heart grew as he did and now not only do I have an unlimited amount of love for him, but I have this area in my heart, separate from him, that is already present, and constantly growing. It is reserved for my next child or even children. It is an amazing feeling and I feel that I already know and love my next children, although I do not know them personally yet or where they will come from.
Not only do I have this love reserved from our children, but I have an immense appreciation, love and respect for our next Birthmom. Emily and I hold a special reverence for these strong, couragous, and selfless women who choose adoption for their child.
Well, that is my first blog. Maybe I will return with another special guest entry.
For whoever is reading this and for whatever reason, please know that we love you and you are in our prayers and thoughts on a constant basis.
- Dan (Superhero Wannabe)
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