Thomas the Tank Engine

                           

We Went and saw "Thomas the Tank Engine" this weekend. He was taking little kids and families for a ride at the Heber Valley Railroad so we decided to hop on!    I thought I would show our fun with a ton of pictures.   Enjoy!

 This is inside of one of the train, it was built in the early 1900's... 

 Dawson looking outside the window, this is what he did the whole time the train was going, he had the BIGGEST GRIN on his face!

 He's so handsome.

This guy was incredibly nice, he helped us get on and off the train, he was really sweet to everyone

 We played miniature golf before we hopped onto the train!

 I made Dan pose with "Sir Topham Hat"... he was scared of him! Maybe it's because his facial expressions never changed?? He looks thrilled!

 We rode these yellow train cars, I do not know what they are really called but it was fun! They were really zippy! 

 They use them to repair trains while on the tracks. We rode on them twice.

I told "Mr Topham" I would see him in my dreams... Dan looked at me weird and I said, DAN! I meant in my nightmares!

The temper tantrum as we left, they were literally closing we could not stay there forever as Dawson had hoped we could!

Take Counsel from the Lord

(Posted by Dan) Tonight I opened up the scriptures randomly (or maybe not) to Jacob chapter 4 and started reading. It was all about asking and taking counsel from the Lord. This is such a interesting chapter as it speaks about how God and Christ created the world, moved mountains (literally) and then poses the question, if they can do all this, then what can they do for me?


The verse that stuck out the most in my mind was Jacob 4:10, which I have listed below. It talks about taking counsel from him and not the other way around. I thought back to my own life where there have been things that I have wanted and have set my heart upon and I have asked Heavenly Father if he would make it so. The only problem with this is that many times I failed to ask first if this was something that I should even be pursuing. I am starting to realize that God can't and won't confirm a decision that is not right no matter how much I want it or have my heart set on it. This scripture was a good reminder for me to always seek HIS counsel and never try to counsel him. For he knows all, and I know very little.


Jacob 4:10
10Wherefore, brethren, seek not to ^acounsel the Lord, but to take counsel from his hand. For behold, ye yourselves know that he counseleth in ^bwisdom, and in justice, and in great mercy, over all his works.

A "Shrek" picnic

Eyeballs and Newts!

I've decided to take over the reigns of the blogging for Emily, for a few posts and so it is with great excitement that I tell you about our Shrek Picnic.

I took off work on Thursday and Friday this week to spend some quality time with my family. I have been looking forward to this time off for some time now. Emily asked me if I wanted to go to the park and have a picnic. This sounded like a great idea, so off we went to the store to get some groceries and then once we got home, Emily banished Dawson and I to the upstairs, so she could concoct some sort of secret in the kitchen :)

Once we got to the park, Emily asked us to close our eyes, which we both did and she put what felt like a headband on our heads. 

We opened our eyes on her command and looked at each other and we were all wearing what looked like alien ears! Emily then exclaimed to us that this was a Shrek Party and that we were celebrating our family togetherness and the theme was "True Love's Kiss"!

So with that we each had 

• Monster Eye Salad (Emily's yummy homemade egg salad) 
• Slugs on a log (Peanut butter on apple slices)

and for Deseret 

• Worms in the Mud (Gummie Worms in Pudding Snacks)

It was a great evening and I love that creativity that Emily has. She makes every day fun and exciting for our family and especially Dawson and someday, his future siblings.

See below for the pics of the food...

Making Decisions

Making Decisions

So Emily has asked me to make a few posts on our blog and so I thought I would share my experience this week. Per a previous post, we had tickets to the U2 concert on Tuesday and everything was lined up with Emily's sister to watch Dawson. For some reason as we were driving to the babysitter, neither of us felt good about dropping Dawson off, not only with Emily's sister, but with anyone. We don't know the reason why but it was a feeling neither of us could or should push out of our minds.

Being the amazing wife that Emily is, she encouraged me to go to the concert and that she would take Dawson home. She said not to worry about it as she would go home and have a fun evening with Dawson and I could enjoy the concert with my best guy friend and his wife, who bought tickets next to us. I felt a measure of peace about going, but still a little hesitation, so I decided to go.

So Emily dropped me off at the Trax station in Midvale and turned around and went home. Once I got on the trax train, it was packed with eager fans ready to go to the concert. At this point I should have been feeling more peace about my decision, but I started to really feel like I could not go to this concert without Emily. As sweet and selfless as it was for her to suggest for me to go and be there with my friends, while she took care of Dawson, I all of a sudden did not care about seeing U2 anymore. I just wanted to either do it together as a couple or not at all. Since the train was headed up to the University Stadium, I figured I would at least sell my tickets to someone, get our money back, and then head home.

You would think that once I got up to the Stadium it would be hard to turn around and go home. After all, Emily had already called and said that she got home safe, told me she was going to have a movie and cupcake night with Dawson and told me to call once the concert was over.

I sat down on the grass just outside of the stadium and sought to determine what I was feeling inside. I just kept feeling peace about not going to the concert. Logically it would have made sense to go, as I was there, but my heart was not there anymore and I just felt more peace about passing it up.

I quickly sought out the first scalper that I could find, and offered them my tickets. He gave us face value for the tickets, which means we came out even, not losing or gaining. Once I sold those tickets, I had an amazing sense of peace come about me, as I knew that I had done what was right, even though my mind could have easily convinced me to just go to the concert.

As I walked away from the stadium, I just couldn't wait to get on that Trax train and head home. Because I was so glad that I had made the decision that I did, I didn't even pay attention to what trax train I jumped on. It turned out that instead of heading south where I needed to go, it took me north, right into downtown across from Temple Square. I realized that I needed to jump off and pick the train heading south.

Once I got off the train, I sat down on a bench for a second to ponder all that had taken place. It was an extremely pleasant spring evening, with a slight breeze passing through the tall buildings downtown. Not only that but for some reason, there were hardly any people downtown. It almost felt like I had the city to myself. I decided to walk across the street and stroll through Temple Square before the next trax train came. It was such a peaceful night and I felt so blessed to be there. The sun was starting to set and it was reflecting off of all of the buildings around me.

I decided to say a quiet prayer to myself and thank my Heavenly Father for giving me the strength to make decisions. As I sat there by a fountain, my mind started wandering off and I started thinking about decisions. Sometimes I have struggled when making tough decisions. I am a very logical person, and so I tend to sway towards what is logical and that is not always the correct path to take. As I sat there, I prayed again that I may learn to be stronger in making decisions, so that I may guide my family safely through this life.

As I prayed, I started to get lots of thoughts coming into my mind. So many that I decided to pull out my phone and write them down so that I didn't forget them.

What was going to be a few minutes in Temple Square turned into over an hour of peaceful meditation and inspiration. I am not one to normally receive inspiration on the spot, but the combination of where I was, and my heart and mind being open, allowed me to understand the words that were being spoken to me inside my mind.

I wanted to post the thoughts that I felt that evening. Although I know that these came to me to specifically help me in making better decisions, I know that they apply to most people as well.

Here is what I wrote down while at Temple Square..

- Dan

How to make better decisions

1. Clear my mind
2. Be calm
3. Lean not unto thine own understanding (emotions)
4. Take care of my health so as not to be tired or hungry when I need to make a decision.
5. Do not rush and do not delay a decision
6. Study it out in your mind and take the emotion out of it  (put your heart on the shelf).
7. Do the right thing always. Not what you want, or what your heart is set upon. Do the right thing always.
8. Decisions are made well in advance of when you are confronted with the situation.

Do not take into account others feelings or desires when making a personal decision. Listen only to your own feelings (not emotions) and then have God confirm your decision.

Making a decision while emotional is never a good idea. If you listen to your emotions, you can be steered in the wrong direction.

Have confidence in yourself, but more importantly have confidence in God.

If you don't ask, how can God help?

Making decisions is like flexing a muscle. The more good decisions you make the stronger your ability becomes.

If you don't move, then you will be moved upon.

All in all, go confidently in the direction of your dreams with God at the helm.

Sugar, Sugar and CUPCAKES

Yesterday, what a day. Dan and I had U2 tickets. Yes that it right! We had waited over a year since the concerts original date was cancelled and rescheduled. We had a sitter in place and all was well. But yesterday was a weird, weird did I say weird sort of day?

Follow closely. My sister was going to watch our love. She was going to take him to a baseball game. If ANYONE is going to watch him it is AMY! She does a wonderful job and I do not trust just anyone to watch my child. If he falls I know She would make it better, if he is hungry she will spoil him with good food and treats.

A week prior, I kept dreaming about Dawson wandering off while Amy had him. It was odd because I know that that would not happen while in Amy's care, although he has been wandering off lately. We used to use a Eddie Bauer plush backpack monkey leash for him when he was younger. I used to think when I saw kids on leashes that the parents just did not know how to discipline, but oh how I misunderstood that. Kids can be impulsive and run and it can be a little scary.

So I kept dreaming about him running off. Which normally I really would not worry about him being with Amy, and it was not as much as my concern about her as it was that my dream felt HoRrIbLe!

The day previous Amy had let me know that a day earlier, her son had a fever, so we had already called around to see if there was anyone else that could watch him, and for some reason, everyone in our family already had a previous engagement that they could not miss for that night.

Amy's son's fever went down and we were still on to drop him off there. but I felt hesitant. Ugg.

Dan came home to pick us up to head to the concert and drop Dawson off. Dan kept frantically looking between our two cars for something. It was weird because he normally does not act like that unless he is FEELING something. He said, " have you seen Dawson's monkey leash?" We looked and looked and it is ODD to say the least because it was just in the car the whole time and we could not find it anywhere! After heading out late and looking for what seemed like ( and was) a ridiculously long time we decided to go get another one from the store before we dropped him off with my sister.

While we were driving Dan told me that he kept worrying about Dawson wandering off. Honestly I would not worry about Amy paying close attention as she would her own child, I was not worried but for some reason both of us had this concern for a few days now. Our  problem was solved with a new leash right? WRONG!

While we were driving we were feeling all sorts of emotions. LONG LONG LONG story short we decided that no matter the solution we came up with, new leash for Dawson, someone else can watch him.... nothing felt right.

Then we pulled over and PRAYED.

I told Dan that all I felt was that I should go home with Dawson. I can not describe it nor explain it but it just felt right. I felt very calm.

Just before I turned around to head home, Amy sent us a text and told us that the baseball game that she was originally going to take the boys to was cancelled. We figured if that was the reason we were feeling hesitant, then that feeling should go away, but it didn't... we still felt sick about leaving him.

SO after ALL of our concern and the weird dreams I kept having and All of Dan's concerns for the finding the backpack, ended up not matching up anyway because in the near future the game would be canceled.

All I could think of was that going home felt extremely peaceful to me!

It did not seem to matter for us to question dropping him off with my sister now that the game had been canceled, I just felt like I needed to go home.

We decided that Dan should still go to the concert. Why I am not sure because we usually stick together, it just felt right. I dropped him off at the train station so he could head downtown.

As I was driving off I felt sick! I wanted to run up to him and say come home with me, and as yucky as it felt to drive away from him I felt I was doing the right thing. It did not make sense but I trusted it that feeling. I have learned from the past to simply JUST TRUST my feelings and DON'T SECOND GUESS FEELINGS that all though not fully understood bring you a PEACEFUL FEELING about something!

I told Dan you never know what lies ahead and went home.

I somehow got home really fast. Dawson was obviously disappointed to not play with his cousin we had talked about it all day ( lesson learned don't tell him anything until you pull up to the event).

We rented movies and bought "MEGA MIND" for 5 bucks at red box- SCORE the day was already getting better. We both picked a treat and then we bought cupcake mix ( Betty Crocker gluten free- awesome).

Dan called while we were in the store and I just felt like I did not want to discuss the concert I just wanted to get on with my day and when it was over he could call and tell me how awesome it was and I would be happy for him (at least one of us went)!

He called and told me about how he felt conflicted about being at the concert with out me. This is when you applaud your husband! I got mad instead and I DON'T even KNOW WHY!?!

 I was not mad at him, I really wanted to zap time and be with him, we just went through some really weird feelings and I felt frustrated. It was not that Dan wanted to come home that I felt frustrated, it was WHY?  WHY did we not feel good about the concert? Just for me to drive away I had just reached where we live and now he is going to bus it home. It DOES NOT MAKE ANY SENSE!

Dan felt bewildered as did I. Dan took a different train where he thought he was heading home. Dan was going a different direction, I wanted to say he hopped on the WRONG train but it was not the wrong train after all.

He landed at TEMPLE SQUARE.

I can say this, all the while Dan was at Temple Square, Dawson and I had watched movies, ate our treats, and dinner, Dan had a good experience.

When he came home, Dawson and I were hungry and he made us scrambled eggs for our 2nd dinner and then cupcakes.

Dawson quickly fell asleep on my chest, and I fell asleep on the couch. Dan carried him up stairs and laid him down in his room and then got me to our bed, and later fell asleep.

 He has a weird face because he was watching a movie or was it the blue stuff??

Sometimes we go through things that JUST DO NOT MAKE SENSE! Sometimes, or MOST TIMES we lack the foreknowledge of what gifts the LORD has for us. Sometimes the messiest situations ever can change into something else, far more beautiful then we could have ever imagined was possible with a situation.

Write it in STONE

Dawson's Birth Grandma sent this today and it came in the oddest timing and a good reminder. I may add more later but for now, this is really good to read! I hope it helps someone as it did me!

STONE   TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING  THROUGH THE DESERT.  DURING SOME POINT OF THE  JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN  ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND  SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE  IN THE FACE  THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED  WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT  SAYING ANYTHING,  WROTE IN THE SAND,  TODAY MY BEST FRIEND  SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.  THEY KEPT ON WALKING,  UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,  WHERE THEY DECIDED  TO TAKE A BATH.  THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN  SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE  MIRE AND STARTED DROWNING,  BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.  AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM  THE NEAR DROWNING,  HE WROTE ON A STONE:  'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND  SAVED MY LIFE'  THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED  AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND  ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,  YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,  YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'  THE FRIEND REPLIED  'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US  WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN  IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF  FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.    BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES  SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,  WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE  WHERE NO WIND  CAN EVER ERASE IT'  LEARN TO WRITE  YOUR HURTS IN  THE SAND AND TO  CARVE YOUR  BENEFITS IN STONE.  THEY SAY IT TAKES A  MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL  PERSON,    AN HOUR TO  APPRECIATE THEM,     A DAY  TO LOVE THEM,  BUT THEN ,  AN ENTIRE LIFE  TO FORGET THEM.  TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!  DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS  YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE  WHO YOU HAVE KNOWN IN YOUR LIFE! Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

Keep sake Adoption memories

Something that I did the Day Dawson was placed, is I took off his outfit his birth mom put him in and I took pictures of it and put everything in a gallon zip lock bag with notes from that day, so we can say.. this is the outfit she put in you that you came home in. We have done this with many different things. I kept the outfit I met his birth mom and birth Grandma so I can say this is what I wore when we met with her for the first time. We have countless things and we keep them up high in some plastic Tupperware bins. My hope is that his Birth mom can see those items some day with Dawson..... For now it is something for him to see and understand his story more. I am looking forward to making a scrap book for him where I will take pictures of everything for his book and write down when he wore a certain things. I have also kept for him all of his card and parts of wrapping paper from his gifts from Day one so that i can also put those in his book. I kept his streamers and hats and candle from his first birthday. I even kept a Binky and gave one to M*.  I could make an endless list of the things this little boy has. My hope is to build his story, it is his story and I feel like the more he can look at and put together what it means the better.

Announcement

Here is a question, how is the best way to tell people you are A. adopting or B. Pregnant ( and we are neither) when you are in the adoption world? As some of you know when you know it can be painful to hear another person is expecting. But what about adoption how do you announce that? To me there are three levels of friends. A. the really close ones, B. The... what the middle ones and C. the ones you are not as close but still wonder if an email is ever appropriate way to tell someone? Then there are those who read your blog who I think an email is a great way to share the news.

I have a confession, my friend Leah and I started the adoption process around the same time. Someone had picked her and then it fell through the day she thought she was going to be taking the baby home. A few months later we were picked with VERY LITTLE NOTICE. It was pretty much a roller coaster then he came home. It was a lot more of an emotional process then what we had ever imagined. Nothing can prepare you fully for the emotions that come with a baby!

We told our parents, and our siblings and thought we would continue the telling everyone after he came, there was a lot that went on between that time, we were both exhausted.

And... we were not even sure if it was all going to go through. Well he was placed and morning came and I thought to myself, I need to call Leah. I had just woken up and was sitting on the couch, wondering... how to say it because she had just gone through a missed placement...

and then Leah felt like she needed to call me.... needless to say she was really hurt.

I understand why she was hurt. I felt quite emotional on how to tell her... and I did not want to cause her pain especially with her recent heartache. We worked it out but it was a sore spot for quite a while needless to say.

I felt like it was a loose loose situation. You can never prepare yourself for the surprise of I'M Pregnant! OR We are adopting!

It is not as painful now that we have Dawson but before I could not get myself to tell her with out feeling horrible about it.

I have my personal reasons why I did not broadcast his possible adoption. 1- was because I was taken back by the emotions I felt and it was a really private time for me. The others are really personal to us as a couple.

So I have wondered especially to those who are awaiting to get pregnant or placed with a baby how would you want to be told?

not a "dood" day!

conversation :

Dawson: Mom, I'm not have'n a "dood" (good) day".

Me: what do you need?

Dawson: "you"

Me: what can I do for you?

Dawson: "Food"!

And food it is my love: CHOCOLATE CINNAMON WAFFLES and THEN SOME!

Here is how I made them:

Chocolate (cocoa powder) + cinnamon + powdered sugar + pancake mix, (gluten free for us of course)

 Frozen blueberries (heated) + half of a lemon after heating with a dash of brown sugar! Oh Yum!

The results...

                                         

The recipe as follows:

Choose your waffle mix then, add the following:

powdered sugar: shake shake shake, tap tap tap, bang bang, that's enough (3 Tablespoons)

cocoa powder: shake (1 teaspoon- 1 Tablespoon, we like ours dark chocolate)

cinnamon: tap tap tap (1/2 teaspoon)

Disclaimer: I don't follow recipes and I make most everything from scratch so I would just make yours on the fly, because who knows if I have the correct measurements above

mix well and don't do what I did at the end and try to get the very last drop of the mix into the waffle maker and over fill picture below:

 WARNING:

By small and simple things..video

    "Ordinary people who faithfully, diligently, and consistently do simple things that are right before God will bring forth extraordinary results." —Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles


I some how landed on this (watch this video) video, it is a short message that if you are a woman or know a woman listen to it!

I. AM. HERE.

Dr. Laura :: Letters :: Email of the Day - I. AM. HERE.

I'm a mother of 2 year old twins, and married to the man of my dreams. I love people, animals, have blonde hair, sing, dance and paint pictures. My life was in the hands of a 16 year old girl 33 years ago.

I've always been a bit awkward and self conscious, but recently I've realized I come from a hero. My mother is so brave, and so strong. I feel empowered by her unbelievable actions and I honor her daily by being the absolute best person I can be. She fought to let me live, and when I look at flowers, trees blowing in the wind, clouds, birds, people's faces...I am so grateful and I am so happy. I'm a part of this human race because she thought that my life was worth saving. Before she knew me. Before she saw my face. Before I had a name.

She was 16 and pregnant when she ran from the appointment room of an abortion clinic. As a result, she was kicked out of her house. Her 16 year old boyfriend was as scared as she was and eventually moved to another part of the country. She was alone and homeless, yet she was selflessly preparing to do something she knew would hurt more than anything.

After I was born, a nurse placed me on my hero's chest. As we slept, someone sketched a picture of mother and daughter and gave it to her. Then, I was gone. She had looked through many applications, and had chosen a couple she would have liked to have had as parents. They had a home, the woman would quit her job to raise the baby, they had extended family and they had a lot of love.

After losing everything for this baby, she let go of the little being she had nurtured inside of her womb for 9 months. She could have clung to me and the romance of the idea of "we'll make it through together," but she wanted to give me a real life, and a great chance in life. This has been extremely valuable to me. At 16, she knew a two parent family was best.

She lived with foster families until she was of age, and never regained a proper relationship with those who would have had me dead. Her heart ached for the loss of her baby, but she has made a life for herself and is very loved by the children she went on to have.

And I look at my fingers as I type, and I feel my tears running down my cheeks and I see photos of people I love hanging on the wall beside me. I am so thankful and I just don't know how to put it into words because I. AM. HERE.

My birth mother is the most heroic person I know, and when I think about it, every birth mother who has given a child up for adoption is hero. These women need to be praised for what they have done. They stood up for us...lives who some say are not worth saving. They gave us to families who would love us...and with us lost a piece of their hearts. Who can do something so brave? Only a hero. Their private struggle has been so huge...they need to be lifted up.

And, to my Birth Mother I say: "I don't know how to say thank you. I just don't....But I am here. I am here. I will make my life, this gift, your suffering count. You will see, I was worth it."

Thanks Dr. Laura.

L.

Did you get a red cape?

Dawson asked me to make a red cape for one of his " guys" it then turned into three capes, and more...
                            (by the way spider man doesn't need a cape, he throws spiderwebs to be able to  fly).

Is it just me or are they smiling? 

When we tell people we are hoping to adopt or have adopted sometimes, they say, " oh good for you.." When I hear this I cringe. 

Some people think we are super hero's for adopting.          We are not the super hero's! 

Those who choose to place their child, are the real super hero's. 

It is not about creating a family for an adoptive couple, its about the parent's of this child and their choice.

 They are the real deal, THE SUPER HERO!! 

They deserve honor and praise.

Sometimes after choosing something heroic..

An epic battle appears and people can say mean things..

The dynamics of friends and family can change,  based on maybe what they can see? Their opinion!

Uniquely are the shoes we wear in this life, it is not anyone's right to judge, but ONE who  LOVES us as His own.

Whenever you are in the presence of a parent weather they have placed a child or not, they deserve 

Love.  Respect. Honor.

My pepper man