Here is a question, how is the best way to tell people you are A. adopting or B. Pregnant ( and we are neither) when you are in the adoption world? As some of you know when you know it can be painful to hear another person is expecting. But what about adoption how do you announce that? To me there are three levels of friends. A. the really close ones, B. The... what the middle ones and C. the ones you are not as close but still wonder if an email is ever appropriate way to tell someone? Then there are those who read your blog who I think an email is a great way to share the news.
I have a confession, my friend Leah and I started the adoption process around the same time. Someone had picked her and then it fell through the day she thought she was going to be taking the baby home. A few months later we were picked with VERY LITTLE NOTICE. It was pretty much a roller coaster then he came home. It was a lot more of an emotional process then what we had ever imagined. Nothing can prepare you fully for the emotions that come with a baby!
We told our parents, and our siblings and thought we would continue the telling everyone after he came, there was a lot that went on between that time, we were both exhausted.
And... we were not even sure if it was all going to go through. Well he was placed and morning came and I thought to myself, I need to call Leah. I had just woken up and was sitting on the couch, wondering... how to say it because she had just gone through a missed placement...
and then Leah felt like she needed to call me.... needless to say she was really hurt.
I understand why she was hurt. I felt quite emotional on how to tell her... and I did not want to cause her pain especially with her recent heartache. We worked it out but it was a sore spot for quite a while needless to say.
I felt like it was a loose loose situation. You can never prepare yourself for the surprise of I'M Pregnant! OR We are adopting!
It is not as painful now that we have Dawson but before I could not get myself to tell her with out feeling horrible about it.
I have my personal reasons why I did not broadcast his possible adoption. 1- was because I was taken back by the emotions I felt and it was a really private time for me. The others are really personal to us as a couple.
So I have wondered especially to those who are awaiting to get pregnant or placed with a baby how would you want to be told?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
In my opinion... just tell them! Tell them in the way you want to (skype, e-mail, phone, etc). It's not the fault of the new parents, so... although you need to be sensitive to feelings, just let them know. I personally am at the point that if someone gets placed or pregnant, I'm happy for them!! They are getting a child that belongs to THEIR family! I know the day will come when I will have my turn, so I'm just happy for those who's turn it is now. Hope this makes sense and helps. *big hugs* love ya!
ReplyDeleteI agree! Dan used to tell me that although I wanted to be a mom that did not mean that it was time for that baby to come and I believe Dawson came at the right time and so I appreciate what you said because it is a good thing and timing that we can not control. And it is a good thing!!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to add that it was in a positive way that Dan said that to me and it was really helpful!
ReplyDelete